14 Big Money Fights Couples Have and How to Resolve Them: Advisors' Advice

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It’s no secret that money problems and tensions are considered significant factors in relationship strife and divorce.

Therapists and lawyers aren’t the only professionals who face couples with these issues —financial advisors also encounter a variety of disagreements among couples when it comes to handling money.

We asked financial advisors: What is the biggest financial conflict for client couples and how do you help them solve it?

“A common financial conflict for couples is budgeting, and it is a really big conflict,” Kyle Simmons, lead financial planner, Simmons Investment Management LLC, told ThinkAdvisor. ”Oftentimes one person is a spender and the other a saver, and this leads to a lot of disagreement and frustration for both sides.

“The solution I’ve found is to set aside what I call an ‘extra budget’ for each person every month, which they can spend on what they want without any guilt,” Simmons added. “This has made a big improvement for several clients I counsel, as well as in my own marriage.”

Another conflict, he noted, is a disagreement on life goals and values around money.

“I’ve seen clients where one person wants to retire early and travel while the other enjoys their career path and wants to continue to grow it. This becomes a big problem in their marriage because they don’t seem to agree on base principles for what their lives should look like.

“The solution is to spend a lot of time talking about what their life goals and values around money are,” Simmons said. “Oftentimes they haven’t verbalized it to their partner or even summarized it for themselves. Once both sides know the other’s perspective, we can usually find some middle ground. One person can retire early and pursue hobbies while the other one works. They can take longer trips multiple times a year. This may even allow the first person to retire earlier and the second to rest and recover between efforts of growing their career.”

Check out the gallery to see 14 other financial advisors’ insights and experience with helping couples resolve their differences over money. Responses may be lightly edited for length.

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