You And Your Friends And Their Friends Need This Incredibly Long Moped

Photo: Facebook Marketplace

So you’re trying to take all your pals to the beach with you, but your approximately six or seven friends won’t fit neatly into your Toyota Tercel. Well, friend, have I got the solution for you: A 25-foot-long moped. Trust me, this is the best solution for all of your problems.

Honda’s Motocompacto Is The Ultra Portable E-Scooter That Can Fit Just About Anywhere

The ad for this moped, which fits “7 or 8 people on it before we start blowing out the tires,” has perhaps the least accurate title I’ve ever seen on Facebook Marketplace: “Regular moped.” Y’know, just your average everyday 25-foot-long eight-seat moped. Like regular.

Photo: Facebook Marketplace

The moped— which is really more of a scooter or a pit bike, given the lack of pedals — apparently can’t even be operated by a lone occupant. Steering is controlled at the front, from the bars, but power is metered out by a separate copilot at the rear. The seller claims that, with that minimum crew, the moped can reach a full 50 miles an hour. That sounds terrifying, and I absolutely need to try it.

The seller also says that they aren’t actively looking to sell, just testing the waters to see what a contraption like this would go for. They’re asking $1,400 as it sits or $1,500 if they fix the flat tire, which sounds like an absolute steal when you break it down by dollars-per-potential-occupant. Fully loaded, you’re talking just $175 per rider. Where else are you getting that kind of value?