What’s Your Worst Used Car Buying Experience?

If you are a human being on planet Earth who hails from modest means, there’s a good chance you’ve either purchased or considered purchasing a used vehicle. Not all used vehicle purchases are created equally, though. In fact, some are downright miserable, and I want to know all of your horror stories. Lay ‘em on me.

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I’ve never had a terrible experience buying a used car; in fact, I’d consider myself quite lucky on that front. They’ve all been reasonable and smooth transactions — aside from one that proved to just be an all-around hassle.

When I bought my 1996 Pontiac Firebird, it was just an all-around comedy of errors. My husband was the one who negotiated the deal, but there were several problems. First, he was in Canada, putting together this purchase that I would then have to complete in person. Second, it was a manual transmission car — and the whole reason I justified buying the Firebird was because I didn’t know how to drive stick; it would be a cheap way to have my own vehicle to screw around in on my own time. However, that meant I couldn’t actually go pick up the car and then drive it back home.

Finally, the buyer wanted me to pay all $2,200 up front, in cash. I did not have $2,200 in cash laying around. My debit card has an ATM withdrawal limit of $1,000, but since it was Sunday, I wouldn’t be able to actually go into a bank and ask a teller to withdraw the money. I also wouldn’t have much time to figure out what to do with myself, since the seller wanted the car gone by Monday morning.

It took a little harried scurrying and a lot of negotiation, but I was able to withdraw $1,000 from the ATM and pair that with a lot of loose money I dug out of various nooks and crannies around the house; the seller was OK with me sending the rest via CashApp. He also was kind enough to rent a U-Haul car dolly to drag the fucker over to my house. By the time all was said and done, I had a vehicle, and the kind gentleman had his money. It was a hassle. I still haven’t ever once driven the Firebird.

But all things considered, that’s pretty low on the “horror story” totem pole. I know you fine Jalops out there easily have stories that will cause even the greediest, sleaziest used car salesman to shudder in horror.