What's Your Airline Etiquette Pet Peeve?

Photo: Larry MacDougal (AP)

A lot of people hate airports, but at this point, I’ve traveled enough for my job that I’ve either got Stockholm Syndrome, or I’ve figured out how to have a mostly enjoyable experience when I fly. I know how to pack. I’ve figured out a number of travel outfits that are nice but also versatile and comfortable. I’ve got TSA Precheck. I have a credit card that gives me lounge access and better internet. I know to order bottles and cans instead of draft beer because there’s a good chance those lines haven’t been cleaned since Obama was in office.

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Basically, I’ve got a routine down, and I know how to fly in a way that reduces stress. I’ve even gotten into the habit of going to the bathroom a few minutes before they announce that we’re about to begin our descent. After all, you never know if you’re going to get delayed on the tarmac, and there’s something about being able to see a bathroom that you’re not allowed to use that makes trying to hold it until you get off the plane even worse.

Not everyone travels as much as auto journalists do, and not everyone would be happy following my flight routine. I get that. But boy do some people need a lesson in flight etiquette. Especially the people who take off their socks and shoes on the plane. Is it a little bit of a cliche thing to complain about? Absolutely. Has that stopped people from doing it? Nope. But it’s about time that it did.

No one wants to see your nasty-ass feet on a plane other than that one weirdo sneaking photos to put on wikiFeet. The person in front of you definitely doesn’t want to touch your feet because you stuck them between the seats. Putting your bare feet on the seat in front of you is absolutely disgusting. Especially if you’re one of those animals who also goes to the bathroom with bare feet. There’s pee all over that floor! And you’re OK with that? What the hell is wrong with you?

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Going to the bathroom in just your socks might be even worse, though. Your socks are going to soak up all that pee, and for the rest of the flight, your feet are just going to be marinating in pee. How can anyone not be disgusted by that? How can anyone think that any of this is OK behavior?

So far, though, shaming hasn’t worked. The degenerates who go barefoot on planes aren’t worried about showing up on social media in passenger shaming posts. They simply have no shame. But clearly, they do what to be able to get on planes. It’s time for airlines to start putting barefooters on a special no-fly list. First offense, you get a six-month ban. Second offense, you get a one-year ban. Third offense, you never get to fly that airline again. Maybe it’s harsh, but if the punishment isn’t serious, they’re just going to keep doing it.

But that’s also just one pet peeve. I’m sure you’ve got one of your own. So please share in the comments what you need other flyers to stop doing and why.