These Are Your Greatest Road Trip Memories

Photo: Merem Yucel (Getty Images)

Back when dinosaurs ruled the Earth and the Charger was an everyday car, I moved to the shithole state of Virginia. (You want to live where the cops have a hardon to nail you for the least vehicle infraction, move to Virginia.)

It was winter and a U-Haul trailer was lashed to the Charger’s rear bumper with all my worldly goods. I pointed the Dodge’s hood to the east and followed it on the Interstate as I made my way across the USA.

A bad snowstorm hit. I hunkered at a motel till the next morning. The snow was deep and not getting cleared all that quickly from the Interstate, so it was packing down to a slick, no-grip surface. We were all moving slowly, till you “think” you can go faster—try to make up some time.

Big mistake—the car ahead of me slowed down too much. I pumped the pathetic drum brakes and got nothing except the “excellence” of the Charger going into an uncontrollable skid. I turned the wheel and eventually the car responded—it swung around like a giant pendulum thanks to the damn U-Haul trailer. I was backwards on the Interstate as I KER-WHUMP!! slammed sideways into the snowdrift alongside the Interstate. The engine died.

‘Shit, now what?’ I thought. I got out to see how bad it was. It was as if the Charger had melded to the snowbank—all fused together. Plus I was facing the wrong way as the icing on the cake.

As pure dumb luck would have it, someone else spun out close to where I proved what a “genius” I was behind the wheel. People were digging that car out. When they got done, they came over and got the Charger free from the snowdrift. Whew! The Luck Gods smiled on me that day.

I swear I didn’t drive over 25mph for the rest that day—luck all used up.

So many wild things in this story, I don’t even know where to start. All I’ll say is, perhaps going forward don’t drive your Charger in the snow with a U-Haul in back of it.

Suggested by: the 1969 Dodge Charger Guy