Tesla Cybertrucks Are Breaking Down More Often Than I Do
Screenshot: Reddit User FloppyDX
We’ve reached the worst time of year when summer has truly ended and the weather is trending to the bad. Every morning is colder than the one which came before it. The leaves fall from the trees, telling us they can hold on no longer. The winter greys are on the horizon. The sun never shows its face anymore. Seasonal depression glides in to wrap us in warm embrace, whispering that it’s okay to stay in bed until well after your responsibilities become problems. Autumn has arrived, and with it the mental breakdowns.
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I understand your pain, Tesla Cybertruck. I know you and feel you. You’ve come to the spot in the road where you can’t continue. You’ve got to pull to the side and sit for a while. I know it’s difficult to find the will to continue, but it’s better than the alternative. Someone out there loves you, and you can’t let them down. Sure, he’s a problematic billionaire, and I’m not sure he can actually feel love, but… Anyway, don’t disappoint him. He’ll post a mean Xeet about you or something.
You’re a Cybertruck, dammit! You’ve got to keep going. You made your debut to the world in November of 2019, and you’ve taken a few years to gather yourself. Now it’s time to actually come out and see your adoring fans. You’re a “release candidate” test vehicle, meaning you’ve been built on the Cybertruck production line at the Giga Texas factory, to validate the production-readiness of your design. If you fail, it’s possible you’re setting up every Cybertruck that comes after you for failure, too!
This isn’t the first time you’ve had a breakdown. Last time it was the middle of summer in California, which is maybe even more concerning.
I’m glad that some of your friends came to check on you and wrap you up in a cozy tarp. Call in to work today, take the day off, you deserve it. You need your rest, and maybe a call to a professional who can help get to the root of what’s causing this breakdown. But when you’re feeling a bit more yourself, get back up, dust yourself off, and you’ll probably be okay.
There’s nothing wrong with a breakdown, but you have to work on yourself to prevent them from happening in the future.
