Talentless Billionaire Nepo Baby Failson Remains Safely Employed By The Company His Daddy Bought For Him

Photo: Aston Martin

Aston Martin Racing announced this week that it has elected to retain the Violet Beauregarde of Formula One, Lace Stroll, “for 2025 and beyond.” Canadian billionaire Lawrence Stroll purchased the failing Force India team in 2018, installing his son as a driver in the team from 2019 onward (and renaming it Aston Martin for 2020 after purchasing a large stake in the automaker). In that time he has hardly proven his worth on the F1 grid, continually scoring fewer points than his teammates and smashing up a ton of cars in the process.

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Mike Krack, Aston Martin team principal, said:

“We are delighted to confirm Lance’s future with Aston Martin Aramco. He has played a key role in building this team. His technical feedback, alongside his committed simulator work, has helped contribute to the continuous development of the car each season.

“The consistency and stability of both Lance and Fernando remaining with our team is a great platform to continue to realize our ambitions. We look forward to creating some more incredible memories and achieving further success together.”

In Lance’s more than 150 starts in F1 he has scored three podiums, which is more than a lot of people can say, but considering that in that time his teammates have scored one victory and nine further podiums. Currently in his eighth season in F1, Stroll is getting his ass kicked by 42-year-old Fernando Alonso. In fact the only teammate of Stroll’s that he has managed to outscore in a season-long points battle was Sergey Sirotkin at Williams in 2018 (six points to one).

In honor of Stroll’s contract extension that will see him in F1 for at least a decade, enjoy this 13-minute compilation of his recent crashes. The kid smashes up more Aston Martins than Daniel Craig’s Bond.

F1 Lance Stroll All Onboard Crashes

Kick him to the curb, Aston.