Ryanair Teetotalers Want A 2-Drink Maximum At European Airports

Photo: Jeff J Mitchell (Getty Images)

Ryanair is no one’s favorite airline, so it makes sense that its passengers turn to alcohol to make the experience bearable. After a single disruptive passenger cost the airline over $15,000 in flight diversion costs, however, Ryanair is asking the EU for a limit: Two drinks per passenger, max.

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The company put out its call on Monday, asking that boarding passes be used to limit passengers’ alcohol purchases the same way they are for duty-free sales. The statement itself, as seen in the Guardian, is weirdly passive-aggressive about the whole thing:

“We fail to understand why passengers at airports are not limited to two alcoholic drinks (using their boarding pass in exactly the same way they limit duty free sales), as this would result in safer and better passenger behaviour on board aircraft, and a safer travel experience for passengers and crews all over Europe,”the airline said on Monday.

“During flight delays, passengers are consuming excess alcohol at airports without any limit on purchase or consumption,” it added.

“We fail to understand why” is some real white lady email phrasing, but it makes clear the company’s frustration with passengers who have imbibed a bit more than their fair share. But the two-drink limit, however simple to write, may not be fully scientifically backed. Everyone metabolizes alcohol differently — we all have different tolerances — and those differences can make for wide variability in how alcohol actually affects our inhibitions. For me, for example, two drinks is a limit so unthinkably high as to be functionally useless. I am an incredibly cheap date.

Asking passengers not to drink before a flight may be impossible, but setting a two-drink limit may not be as effective as Ryanair wants. Regardless of teh specific implementation, however, it seems there’s a universal truth to the airline’s regulatory desires: One drunk guy is about to ruin it for everyone.