Porsche Killed The Panamera Wagon Because You Losers Didn't Buy Them

Porsche Killed The Panamera Wagon Because You Losers Didn't Buy Them

Porsche unveiled a brand new third-generation Panamera last week, and everything about it looks pretty great. There’s just one catch. The totally rad Panamera Sport Turismo wagon variant is dead, and there’s nothing we can do about it except put on a Smiths record and cry. Porsche poured its heart and soul into the Panamera wagon, but we all took it for granted and now it has packed its things and left. The Panamera Turbo S e-Hybrid Sport Turismo was maybe the best wagon to have ever graced this great green earth, and it’s just… gone.

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The Sport Turismo was officially unveiled at the 2017 Geneva Motor Show, and it immediately stole our hearts. Any sedan that has had its trunk turned into a hatch is an immediate Jalopnik favorite, but when it’s Porsche’s super sedan, all the better. It was available in varieties from 325 horsepower on up to 690, and could be had in four and five-seat layouts, meaning it would fit pretty much any wagon enthusiast’s needs. It was like a Cayenne that Porsche squashed down a little and stretched out some. It was damn near perfection. It was a hell of a lot of money, though.

In a statement to Automotive News Europe, Porsche confirmed: “In China and the U.S. — our main markets in the D segment — the Sport Turismo plays only a minor role. For this reason, we have decided to discontinue this model variant with the launch of the new generation.”

The automaker later elaborated to The Drive that “Porsche focuses its product portfolio primarily on the wishes of its customers. Around the world, the Panamera is primarily in demand as a sports saloon.”

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Porsche never released any exact sales figures on the Panamera Sport Turismo specifically, as its quarterly sales reports dump all variants of the Panamera into one column. Across the first three quarters of 2023, however, Porsche had only sold 3,165 Panamera units in the U.S., making the large executive sedan/wagon its slowest selling model. By comparison, Porsche sold 20,841 Macan and 14,916 Cayenne in the same period. It seems unlikely that the Panamera wagon was even 50 percent of the nameplate’s sales, so is it worth offering a separate body style for at most 2,000 units in the U.S. market?

Fortunately for us, and for the world at large, Porsche still sells a wagon in the double variants of the all-electric Taycan, Sport Turismo and Cross Turismo. There was something truly special about the Panamera Sport Turismo, however. It was a large car that really seemed to shrink around you, practically bending speed and time to its will. I know I’ll miss it dearly, as a GTS model has long been in my personal dream garage.

Why didn’t you goons buy the dang thing? Was it just too good?