Oscar Mayer Is Changing the Name of the Wienermobile

Photo: Ryan Brennecke (AP)

The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile is an American institution. Period. Everyone loves seeing it, and if you don’t, you’re just wrong. Forget pledging allegiance to the flag: We should be pledging our love and appreciation to the Wienermobile. But apparently, the folks at Oscar Mayer decided to take time out of their busy days to stop making ultra-processed meats to be a bunch of dicks and change the name of the Wienermobile.

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CNN got the tip that from now on, the Wienermobile will officially be known as the Frankmobile. Apparently, Oscar Mayer is releasing a new hot dog recipe this summer and claims the Frankmobile name “pays homage” to those all-beef franks. It’s also anti-American, and Jalopnik will not stand for it. You can’t erect an institution like that and then tear it down just because. Oscar Mayer can call it the Frankmobile all it wants, but it will forever be the Wienermobile, and no amount of corporate marketing can change that.

The good news is, there’s a chance the name change is only temporary and will shrink away once Oscar Mayer is done with the rollout of this new hotdog recipe that it claims has a “more balanced flavor profile and iconic beefy taste that is more delicious than ever.” A spokesperson told CNN that the company is “trying out to see if it ‘cuts the mustard’ with its fans.”

We’re just going to come right out and say that it will not. America will never embrace the Frankmobile. Does Oscar Mayer not understand the girth of our appreciation for the Wienermobile? There’s a long history here, and we’re not going to let the company toss it just because it wants people to know the new hot dogs feature some “strong beef brothy notes.” Not here in Jalopnik’s America, at least.