OK But Seriously, Truckers' Piss Jugs Are A Real Problem

I hate to break it to you, but if you thought that Piss Jugman was an actual mascot, that is not, in fact, the case. The Celina 52 Truck Stop is actually a satire account, and you may remember it from the time it posted a photo of an Amy Schumer lookalike allegedly spending her Cranking the Hog Rewards Points to get a new Monster Energy mini fridge. But just because Piss Jugman isn’t real doesn’t mean truckers’ piss jugs aren’t still a real problem.

On The Road At SpyderQuest 2023

If you’d prefer to not call them piss jugs for some reason, as commenter DirtyBus pointed out over on the original post, the technical term is actually “trucker bombs.” It may not be in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, but Wiktionary includes a definition for trucker bombs, which makes it official enough for us. And while it’s there’s plenty of humor to be had with the term, they absolutely need to stop.

First, there’s always the chance that a flying piss jug could hit another vehicle, which has the potential to cause a serious crash depending on where it lands. There’s the gross part, sure, but hitting a relatively heavy object at highway speeds is legitimately dangerous. But also, let’s not forget the people who have to clean them up. Someone’s gotta get those piss jugs off the side of the road or out of the parking lot, and it’s incredibly rude to expect someone to deal with your old piss.

But the second half of DirtyBus’s comment is also not an exaggeration. Road crews really do have to check for piss jugs before mowing because if they don’t, you get an explosion of hot, rancid piss, which is beyond disgusting. And while fresh urine may be sterile, even Bear Grylls isn’t going to be excited about getting covered in and possibly inhaling old, festering piss vapor. If that’s not a serious problem, we don’t know what is.

There are, of course, plenty of alternatives. You can wait to find a trash can and dispose of your piss jugs there. You can wear adult diapers. Hell, you can even invest in a big ol’ piss jug like this one with a hose for more sanitary road pissing. But none of those solutions address the actual problem, which is that no job should work you so hard that you have to resort to pissing in bottles because you don’t have time to stop at an actual restroom. It’s wrong when Amazon does it, and it’s wrong when trucking companies do it.

If a white-collar company got rid of bathrooms and told employees to simply piss in bottles at their desks, everyone would collectively flip their shit (heh, pun). But we just accept that truckers and delivery drivers are expected to do that? It’s ridiculous, and it really, really needs to stop.