Man Allegedly Masturbates Four Times On Three-Hour Flight

A Southwest Airlines plane approaches the runway at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport (DCA) in Arlington, Virginia, on April 2, 2022.Photo: Photo by DANIEL SLIM/AFP via Getty Images (Getty Images)

Phoenix police arrested a man over the weekend after he masturbated four times in front of a female passenger on a flight from Seattle, WA to Sky Harbor International Airport in Phoenix, AZ. He now faces federal charges as well as a lifetime ban from one America’s best economy airlines.

Antonio Sherrodd McGarity was seated in 11F on the Southwest Airlines flight and began masturbating shortly after take off. The unnamed female passenger seated next to McGarity in 11E took pictures as proof. As if being stuck in the middle seat wasn’t torture enough, she told police he was at it for an hour before falling asleep. Once he was all tuckered out, she took the opportunity to alert the flight crew and was immediately allowed to switch seats.

This story comes to us via the Daily Beast, which obtained the full criminal complaint (the copy of which is just too gross for me to reprint here):

The complaint states that when the Southwest Airlines flight landed, Phoenix Police officers interviewed the woman, who reiterated she had seen McGarity masturbating “on four separate occasions, using both his left and right hands.”

McGarity was also interviewed by FBI agents, who allegedly admitted to his in-flight behavior.

“McGarity advised he asked the female witness if she minded if he masturbates,” the complaint states. “According to McGarity, the female witness put her hands in the air and said, ‘it really doesn’t matter.’”

McGarity thought the response was “kind of kinky” and believed the female was comfortable with him masturbating, the complaint adds.

I’m guessing her response (if that is indeed how she responded) to McGarity’s question is a case of the unsaid implication. I think what she meant was more like: “…it really doesn’t matter…if you’re so far gone from normal to even be asking the question, you’re probably dead set on smacking it no matter what I say.”

Dealing with this kind of shit is a nightmare for both passengers and crew alike. Being a flight attendant used to be a decent gig, but lately, it seem if they’re not being choked, hit over the head with a coffee pot, or having their teeth knocked out, they’re dealing with self-diddlers. The Federal Aviation Administration has received a flood of reports on unruly passengers ever since the COVID-19 epidemic put airline crews on the front lines of the culture wars over a federal regulation requiring mask wearing on flights. So far in the first three months of 2022 alone the FAA has received 1,081 unruly passenger reports, with 707 being mask related.