Hey Esquire Magazine, Do You Even Car… Bro?

Esquire magazine is apparently still a thing for fashionable gentlemen looking for advice on whatever it is they need advice for. I wouldn’t know, I am not a fashionable gentleman, and while I may not know my fancy timepieces, I know a thing or two about cars.

I Need A Reasonably Sized Car That Can Fit My Large Frame | WCSYB?

In a recent post about the new Batman spinoff series on HBO Max, Esquire states that “The Penguin’s Maserati Is the Best Car on TV.” That’s a bold claim, especially when the author can’t even identify the right Maserati.

“The Penguin’s Maserati Quattroporte first debuted during the character’s car chase with the Caped Crusader in The Batman (2022). Since the dark and gritty superhero film totaled Oz Cobb’s car in a fiery crash, it’s clear that HBO wanted to upgrade the Penguin’s ride for his solo series. So they took a page from Barbie’s Maserati Grecale playbook and gave the Penguin a colorful luxury vehicle. The Maserati Quattroporte doesn’t come cheap, either. The Penguin’s ride starts at $139,000 for the basic model—and that’s before you add a custom paint job.”

According to The Batman Universe Wiki, The Penguin was driving a 2013 Quattroporte in the 2022 film’s epic car chase scene in the 2022. Though it’s hard to see the details, the Quattroporte was a pre-facelift model with a custom bodykit and purple wrap.

The Batman | Penguin Car Chase | Warner Bros. Entertainment

However, The Penguin has not upgraded his car to a newer Quattroporte for the HBO series, but rather downgraded to the less expensive Ghibli. While the two vehicles share very similar styling and modifications, a closer look at the details reveals the differences.

A 2024 Quattroporte looks like this, as the body style hasn’t changed since 2019:

Image: Maserati

Whereas the Ghibli looks like this, and also hasn’t really changed since 2013:

Image: Maserati

You can see that the headlights have more of an arc to them and the front grille has a steeper angle leaning forward. The Quattroporte also has an additional quarter window between the C- and D-pillars that the Ghibli lacks, different lines on the hood and doors, and other differentiating details.

As for the claim that this is the “coolest car on television.” A purple Ghibli with gold wheels and a widebody kit does not read as a car for a terrifying crime lord. I get that this new Batman universe is supposed to be “gritty,” but having Ozzy Cobbs (or whatever they are calling him) drive around in what looks to be someone else’s poorly modified financial mistake bought at a Buy-Here-Pay-Here lot on the outskirts of Gotham, takes gritty to another level.

If Esquire can’t tell the difference between a Ghibli and a Quattroporte, how are all the fashionable gentlemen supposed to trust their advice as to when to wear khakis or chinos?