Florida Man Blames Paranormal Activity for Driving Car Missing Two Tires

Screenshot: Marion County Sheriff’s Office

In general, it’s a bad idea to drive if your car is missing a tire. It’s bad for your wheel, and it tears up the road. If you’re missing two tires, it’s even worse. But what if you’ve been cursed and need to escape to safety? Surely, that’s a reasonable excuse, right? Turns out, at least in Florida, it’s not.

The Miami Herald reports that deputies pulled over a driver around 4:00 a.m. when they noticed his car was missing two tires. “When the deputy asked about the damage to the vehicle, (the driver) stated someone had put a curse on him and that he hit a curb a little hard.”

Calling it a “do or die choice,” the driver claimed he felt he only had two options: try to make it home or set his car on fire and sleep on the median. “Somebody put a curse on me,” the driver says. “That is paranormal activity.”

For some reason, the officers didn’t believe the Florida man’s very reasonable explanation. “Suspecting another kind of spirits may be involved, deputies asked the 29-year-old driver to submit to sobriety tests.”

Things only went downhill from there for the man who was just trying to escape an evil spirit. He began “spitting on deputies, threatening to attack them, kicking them and trying to take one deputy’s taser from its holster,” before telling them, “If you mess with me right now, let me tell you something, I’m going to break your head with a baseball bat. I’m going to … skin you alive.”

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Apparently, the deputies took issue with that behavior and arrested him. He’s been charged with “Two counts of battery on a law enforcement officer; resisting an officer with violence; attempt to deprive an officer of means of protection or communication; corrupt by threat against public servant, and driving under the influence.”

Hopefully, this can serve as a lesson to everyone. If you’ve been cursed and are fleeing obvious paranormal activity, and you happen to destroy your tires in the process, do not attempt to keep driving. Instead, set your car on fire, and sleep on the median.