Federal Killjoys Tell States To Stop Putting Jokes In Highway Signage
Image: Ohio DOT
An arm within the U.S. Department of Transportation called the Federal Highway Administration has declared that joke time is over. New guidance has been issued on interstate traffic-safety messages: “Signs should avoid language that uses pop-culture references or humor.” These DOT punks say the signs can be distracting and should only be used for pure information delivery. There’s nothing the feds can’t take the joy out of, eh?
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Apparently these jokey signs with popular culture references have been bothering the highway overlords for a few years now, as a draft of the pending update to the FHWA’s Manual on Uniform Traffic Control Devices dates back to 2021.
“Messages with obscure or secondary meanings, such as those with popular culture references, unconventional sign legend syntax, or that are intended to be humorous, should not be used,” the draft says.
Instead of Massachusetts’ famous “Use Yah Blinkah” sign, the feds suggest the sign should instead read “UNBUCKLED SEAT BELTS FINE + POINTS.” Wow, boring!
States argue that their humorous signs are more memorable, pointing to a 2020 Virginia DOT study proving they commanded the most cognitive attention compared to more generic safety signage. The feds’ rebuke claims this is exactly the problem. The signs are occasionally befuddling to people who don’t understand the reference, causing them to take more mental energy off the act of driving. They’re calling you stupid, basically.
In a world that is increasingly crushing the spirits of average everyday Americans, we can’t even be allowed the simple joy of a mediocre dad joke cobbled together by a state DOT sign-writing committee in the middle of our car-centric hellscape commute to goddamn work. What next, are they going to ban morning zoo commute hour radio shows because they make dumb jokes, too?
States will have two years to implement all of the changes in the 2024 edition of the manual, including this reduction in cheeky roadside signage.
