Everybody Stop Making Cars, The Perfect One Already Exists

Photo: Facebook Marketplace

For centuries, humanity has labored to answer one evasive question: What’s the best car? Is it something sleek and luxurious, something comfortable and capable, or something stripped-down and built for speed? Well, as it turns out, the answer is none of the above. The best car is a pink Suzuki Sidekick. Thanks for playing, everyone, but we have a winner.

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It’s done, the question has been answered and everyone can all go home. Car design as an industry can close up shop, because it’s not getting any better than this. The colors, the stickers, the aftermarket steering wheel — this Sidekick just got everything right.

Photo: Facebook Marketplace

This Sidekick comes from a dealer down in Virginia, whose Facebook Marketplace description of the car doesn’t even comment on the fact that it’s the apex of automotive style. Not one mention of the beautiful pink paint, the body color that carries into the interior through thoughtful accents like the NRG wheel or whatever pink object is taped to the handbrake handle.

The exterior stickers really add to an almost vaporwave energy emanating from this perfect, beautiful vehicle. The Jazz Cup decals down the sides, the palm trees and flowers. There are even pink stickers on pink paint, and it’s all just so maximalist that your brain shuts off and agrees: This is the Best Car.

If you’re interested in owning the peak of automotive beauty, the ultimate art on wheels, head on down to Chantily, Virginia with $8,000 in your pocket. If BMW Art Car prices are anything to go off of, this Sidekick is an absolute steal that’ll surely be worth seven, eight, perhaps even nine figures as time goes on. You can’t afford not to buy it.