Don't Use Your Car As A Weapon

We, as Jalops, all enjoy cars. It’s one of our defining traits. While we may get into our own debates about whether cars are better for pleasure or commuting, long trips or short grocery runs, there’s one use case we can all agree is bad: Cars should really not be weapons.

Behind The Wheel Of The 2024 Maserati Ghibli 334 Ultima

You might think this is a universally agreed-upon take, but you’d be wrong. The use of cars as weapons has ticked upwards in recent years, and now even sitting senators are hinting at it. Senator Tom Cotton, from Arkansas, appeared to tacitly nod at the practice in a tweet earlier this week.

The tweet was later edited to add that drivers should “get them out of the way” — presumably in response to the slew of reactions interpreting Cotton’s tweet as a call to hit protesters with cars. Cotton later came back with another tweet, showing video of drivers in Europe dragging protesters out of the road and throwing them to the ground.

This practice of manhandling other human beings is known in the United States as “battery” (unless you’re in Florida or Oklahoma, where hitting protesters with your car is totally fine) and is perhaps not the sort of thing that a sitting senator should be encouraging. Just take the excuse for being late to work, Tom. It’s better than doing bodily harm to people for having the audacity to inconvenience you.

Don’t use your cars as weapons. Don’t drag people around and throw them to the ground. We’ve got enough problems in the world already, and adding a bit of vehicle-assisted battery to the situation isn’t going to make anything better for anyone. Is beating Google Maps’ estimated arrival time really worth being charged in a court of law?