Buying This Astro Van Tank From Vladimir On Facebook Marketplace Is A Certified Good Idea

Image: Facebook Marketplace

There is absolutely no way anything could go wrong buying this Chevrolet Astro Van on metal tank tracks. I mean, sure, you can’t actually drive it on the street anywhere, but if you need to climb to the top of a snow-covered mountain, or have a desire to comb wide swaths of desert and sand dune, this is the perfect machine to fit your desires. Especially if you want to do it in early-1990s General Motors comfort and style. The Astro truly can’t be beat, and this one can’t be stopped. Is this the greatest car ever built? It has to be in the running. Well now it can be yours, and all you have to do is give $8,500 to Vladimir from Facebook Marketplace.

Cristo Fernandez Is Playing His First Car In The New ‘Transformers: Rise Of The Beasts’

Image: Facebook Marketplace

Every good Facebook Marketplace purchase comes with free mystery stains in the carpet, a lightly sagging headliner, and unmistakably 1990s General Motors switchgear. This one does not, however, come with a steering wheel. To get this tank of a van to move forward, you’ll use a pair of joysticks to operate the skid-steer-style tank tracks. With a venerable 4.3-liter GM V6 under the hood operating a hydraulic pump, this thing certainly won’t be fast, but it’ll run damn near forever.

Image: Facebook Marketplace

Here’s the full verbiage of the listing, which certainly reassures any questions my brain might have about this purchase. If I lived on a beach or had a ski chalet in the Rockies, I would certainly be on my way to California to pick up this rad monster.