A Cop's Worst Nightmare

Photo: Sandra Standbridge (Getty Images)

When you’re a cop, terror lurks around every corner. You’re working the 22nd-most-dangerous job in the United States, with nearly as many annual deaths as landscapers or DoorDash drivers — it’s a terrifying, terrifying world for you. Clearly, there’s only one way to survive it: Shoot anything and everything always without hesitation or thought.

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That was the M.O. of an officer in Florida, who unloaded a full magazine on his own car — with a handcuffed suspect sitting inside — after he heard an acorn fall from a tree and bounce off the cruiser. The situation was so harrowing, so life-or-death, that there’s really only way way to properly emotionally respond to it. Luckily, elgordo47 did just that:

It truly is nuts, that the officer was able to escape with his life after such a vicious assault. That acorn fell with enough force to knock the cop to the ground, forcing him to roll around on the pavement twice before getting up, shooting out his own rear window, and just sort of lying down on the ground again to continue firing. Must’ve been one of those new fentanyl-laced acorns. This is why we can’t risk using officers for anything other than collecting overtime to scroll TikTok in the subway or just indiscriminately shooting everyone all the time.

Congratulations, elgordo47, on your Comment Of The Day win. Your words truly captured the circumstances this good, upstanding officer faced, and just how lucky he was to have scaped with his life — now matter how narrow a margin that escape was. Here’s a track from some folks who might share some common ground with you on the topic.

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