What is the actual way to get a price of a visit or surgery BEFORE you go?

I have done this dance with my health insurer too many times.

Is the correct way to book an appointment, get a CPT code from the provider and then ask the insurer how much the max the provider can charge is and assume (aka prepare mentally) that’s the cost? This is all assumed in network providers in this scenario.

I’ve had appointments where I expect to owe $0 and then get a bill for $250, and I had something I expected was going to be $350 that turned out to be fully covered.

For example I just got a vasectomy and ahead of time I got the CPT code from the provider, and the insurance gave me a crazy range of $800-2500. I talked to the office of the Urologist and they said they would be billing the insurance $2K, so with that I expect I will be paying $2K cash soon once it’s billed as I have a $3K deductible I have only met $250 of so far this year.

Please help me figure this out, it’s to the point where I just will never be going to any doctor short of my arm falling off because I can’t predict what I’m going to have to pay.