is there an easy way to compare between myself and my wifes plan?

We just go married and are trying to figure if there are benefits to switching one to another. It is all so confusing. We are trying to break major items down into a spreadsheet to get rid of the clutter and get to the major items. i.e. out of pocket max’s, how much the insurance will cover up to what %. But each plan has their own way or writing things, they may use different terminology, or might not give you all the information, and is honestly confusing sometimes.

Questions to my HR person are not helpful as we are a small company and that HR person wears multiple hats. They can help answer very broad stuff by looking at the same flashy PDF’s that I am looking at. They are no smarter than me when it comes to this.

I don’t want flashy PDF’s and someone with basic knowledge. I want the fine print and I want an expert in the fine print so I can ask tough questions. It seems that the brochures that get sent out to employees are purposefully vague so that the insurance company can bill you for whatever they want and confuse you when you actually file a claim. How many times do you think something is covered and then you get a random bill for $500 after the fact and then you call to ask questions and they say ” well actually it was coded as this and we only pay X % so that means you owe $534 dollars” Sorry for ranting but I am sure others experience this all the time. How they thought billing would work out, verse what actually happens are 2 different things.

So where to go from here? Are there any third party services that help couples consult? ( i know this sort of stuff exists for medicare, surely this must exist for normal health insurance?) I am willing to pay for their services. I want more detailed information to compare between 2 plans so that we can make the best choices for ourselves. I want an expert on the phone who won’t b.s me and will tell me the way billing works in the real world.

Does this exist? Thanks!