Is it foolish not to choose a plan based on proximity to in-network ER?

This is related to a post I made earlier, but (slightly) more focused since I’ve thought a lot about it and have met with a healthcare navigator. This is likely just a decision I have to make for myself, but wanted to get any useful feedback to see if there are points I’m not considering.

Going to be signing up for a family health insurance plan (me, wife and 4-month-old daughter) for 2023 on the ACA marketplace (wife and I are self-employed by our own company) and am trying to decide between an Aetna or BCBS plan. The Aetna plans give us access to Duke doctors and hospitals and the BCBS plans give us access to the UNC Health Care system, but there are no plans (available to individuals) that offer access to both. We live in Durham which means the hospitals in our vicinity are Duke hospitals. UNC Health Care is primarily located in and around Chapel Hill, NC, which is a 20-ish min. drive.

We’ve been pretty happy with UNC so far and our daughter is seeing a pediatrician there. We’re not phased by driving to UNC doctors and hospitals for anything we can plan, but chances are, if any of us needed to go to an ER, it’d end up being a Duke ER.

In that case, my question is: Am I making a mistake by choosing the plan with the doctors/hospitals we’d prefer to access versus the one with the nearest ER?

I’m aware that the No Surprises Act means true emergencies have to be treated as in-network, but I’m also aware that what constitutes an emergency is decided after the fact. I’ve also considered that an emergency isn’t necessarily going to happen at home, only that that’s the biggest likelihood I can plan for.

It seems like the biggest risk is that I/wife deem something an emergency (we’re not hypochondriacs and don’t use a lot of medical care) call 911, 911 actually picks up and then get an ambulance ride to a local Duke hospital to find out we were being weenies and get hit with an OON ER/hospital bill. I realize this isn’t the most likely scenario, but I don’t really know how to plan how deep that would likely cut (I figure a big bill would be an actual emergency) and therefore how big of a risk I’d be taking.

Anywho, thanks for your input and any responses.