Family on employer plan, self employed spouse has cancer- how do we set this up?

Hello everyone!

I have good health insurance through my employer, but it is not a high deductible plan, so no HSA is available. I do have a medical FSA which I funded early in the year based on a guess of our medical expenses for the year that did not include my husband being diagnosed with leukemia. His hospital stay, bone marrow biopsies and genetic testing, etc were very expensive, and his monthly medication, blood work, and follow up are being billed at around 45k per month. Once he is more stable, I expect that figure to go down to closer to 25k per month, which will be for the rest of his life most likely.

Here is where I need your help! Since he is self employed, I believe he is ineligible for an FSA, and since we do not have what is classified as a high deductible plan, we are not eligible for an HSA. Am I right that we are stuck paying all of our out of pocket costs from post-tax money? We are up to $9300 for the year so far in out of pocket costs and still have a ways to go before hitting out of pocket max, which has definitely completely depleted the FSA and my old HSA from my prior job.

Second, when looking at my employer options for next year with the understanding that we are going to have significant costs, is there a suggested way to evaluate which plan to select? Previously, with lower use, I haven’t done much in-depth analysis of the options.