Buy This U.S. Army Landing Craft For All Your Beach-Storming Needs

Photo: Facebook Marketplace

Has this ever happened to you? You’re scrolling Facebook Marketplace, eyes idly flitting across listings, when you see it: The perfect next car. Maybe it’s a pristine museum example, maybe it’s a project, but either way it’s got a horrible issue in that there’s a body of water between you and your dream car. How are you going to cross it?

2024 Mercedes-Benz CLE 450 Cabriolet Convertible

Well, wonder no more. Finally, a solution for moving motor vehicles across rivers, lakes, even oceans: A U.S. Army landing craft. There’s no better way to transport a car around than an enormous military boat that’s meant to drop tanks on French beaches. This is a very reasonable $425,000 purchase.

Photo: Facebook Marketplace

Your next car doesn’t run under its own power? The boat’s ramp will make it nice and easy to push your roller aboard. Do you want to go buy a dump truck? Easy, the landing craft will fit that with no problem. Motorcycles? Go buy a fleet, you can take every one home.

In fact, you could just make this boat your home. It has bunks for sleeping and at least one table that could fit a microwave, which is more than you get in many Manhattan apartments. Live on the waves! With your fleet of motor vehicles! If that’s not the ideal lifestyle, I don’t know what is.

The boat is currently located in the San Fransisco Bay, but it doesn’t really matter where you live — you can get it home under its own power. If you’re an East Coaster, just take it through the Panama Canal. I cannot imagine there would be a single issue with taking a military boat through the Panama Canal.

You need a way to aquatizally transport vehicles, and there’s no better way than a truly enormous three-engined U.S. Army craft. It’s the best solution to your problems. Buy now.