You Can Own The Coolest Version Of The Most Boring Car Ever

The Chevrolet Malibu hasn’t raised many pulses in the 21st century, and despite General Motors’ best efforts, this custom 1997 Chevrolet Malibu Cruiser Concept Car displayed by GM at the 2001 SEMA Show still looks underwhelming. Currently available for auction on Bring A Trailer and painted in a striking shade called Sublime Lime, this oh-so-2000s concept should be sweet, but it’s definitely leaving a sour taste in my mouth. The equation should result in a product that’s desirable or at least cool looking, and despite being an exemplary snapshot of tuner culture in the early 2000s, this Malibu Cruiser is still hampered by the exceptionally anonymous styling of the fifth generation Chevy Malibu.

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This generation of Chevy Malibu has always looked more like the Chevrolet Prizm (which was actually just a rebadged Toyota Corolla) than a real Chevrolet product to me. It’s as though the designers set out to design an NPC car for the then-new video game called Grand Theft Auto. General Motors’ tried to inject some cool into this SEMA Show car, but it still looks like an NPC car. It just looks like it could be anything from that era, like a Nissan Altima, Nissan Sentra, an EH Honda Civic or a Toyota Corolla.

GM tried spicing up its snooze-inducing Malibu with performance enhancing goodies like an Aerodyne turbocharger, a lowered suspension, 19-inch wheels, and aero add-ons like a body kit and carbon fiber rear spoiler. Unfortunately, de-badging this Malibu has made it even more anonymous, further worsened by the clear lens tail lights. This generation of Malibu was simply too boring to jazz up.

I am surprised that GM modified the standard powertrain so much. It bored out the car’s standard 3.1-liter V6 to 3.5-liters, and then bolted on a turbocharger, a polished intake, fabricated exhaust manifolds, and a three-inch exhaust with a Borla muffler. The car’s suspension was lowered, a bodykit was fitted, and 19-inch wheels were fitted over upgraded slotted disc brakes to further spice up the exterior. The interior gets four Sparco racing seats, and GM made some carbon fiber trim inserts to make the Malibu’s rental car interior look a little more special. Of course, it also has an aftermarket stereo system and Kenwood Bluetooth head unit, as was the trend back then.

Lifter tick is reported, and it’s still hampered with Chevrolet’s four-speed automatic transmission driving the front wheels, so it’s not a good purchase for someone who truly loves driving. It was featured in Hot Compact & Imports magazine, which might make it cool to someone, but not me. To whomever buys this Malibu Cruiser, I respect you for celebrating the tuner scene of the early 2000s, and I hope you get a great deal on this Sublime Lime family sedan.