Don't Pretend Like You Don't Want To Douse Your Car In Milk

Screenshot: wagonturbo via TikTok

Listen, we’ve all had a tough day where all we wanted to do was go home, get in our Volkswagen Jetta, and douse that bad boy in whole milk that may or may not have expired two years ago. If you say that’s never happened to you, and no one would ever do these things, you’re a liar and you’re wrong.

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TikToker @wagonturbo did just that, and he posted it on the internet for all of us to see. It’s impossible to know exactly why the man, named Austin, decided to go absolutely ballistic with a jug of milk in his A4 VW Jetta, but I know one thing: I’ve felt the exact same way, amigo.

We can’t glean too much information from the 31-second video, but Austin gets right to business, splashing an entire gallon of whole milk onto his car’s dashboard. After he finishes milking the car, he begins smashing the jug into the dash for a few seconds, spraying milk everywhere – including on the camera he’s shooting with. It means you’ve got to assume our man was also covered in milk.

All of that is over in about 12 seconds. The final 19 seconds of the video, I assume, are Austin surveying what he had done to his early-2000s Jetta – looking around, wondering what life choices wouldn’t have brought him here. I hope he’s pleased with his handiwork.

I’m not exactly sure of the lore behind this video, but Austin’s profile – with nearly 94,000 followers – chronicles him dumping all matter of liquids in his car. That includes stuff like Mountain Dew, mustard and even two percent milk.

Why is he doing this? Why would he want to do this? What would compel a man to give us everything and just fuckin’ bash some milk into his Jetta? Is that milk actually two years old or is this video very old? Why is the top of his steering wheel chopped off? All of these things are unknown. However, two things are for sure. First of all: we’ve all been there before, because this video has over 1.7 million views and over 100,000 likes. Second of all: you know it smells crazy in there.