‘Doing Kid’s Stuff’ Teens Steal $600,000 Worth Of Cars From Dealership, Lead Police On 40-Mile Chase

A group of Chicago teens decided the best way to spend their evening in Wisconsin last week was to break into a Jaguar-Land Rover dealership and steal nearly $600,000 in luxury vehicles and later go on a 40-mile car chase with police. At least they weren’t just on their damn phones, am I right?

The Range Rover Tailgate Event Suite is Peak Luxury Lounging

Anyway, in the Young Ocean’s 11-style heist, several teens wearing all black pulled up to the dealership in the early hours of February 18, ripped open the key box and got into nine luxury vehicles, as seen in footage obtained by FOX6 Milwaukee. That’s when, according to the criminal complaint, one of the thieves got into a Land Rover Range Rover Velar and used it “as a battering ram” to smash through the garage door. A few hours after all this went down, dealership employees arrived at the store to find their garage door destroyed and broken glass strewn throughout the parking lot.

The group drove away with a 2021 Land Rover Range Rover Westminster, a 2023 BMW X5 M50i, a 2021 Jaguar F-Type R-Dynamic, a 2023 Range Rover Sport P440, a 2019 Porsche Macan, two 2024 Range Rover Velars, a 2024 Land Rover Discovery Dynamic and a 2020 Range Rover. Eight of these cars belonged to the dealership, and one belonged to a customer All in all, officials told FOX6, the total value of these cars was $583,339. Very specific. I like that.

The theft ended with police engaging in a nearly 40-mile-long car chase on Sunday morning – the Lord’s Day for Christ’s sake – which ended when a 17-year-old driver and thief crashed the 2021 Range Rover Westminster he was driving in the city of West Allis, Wisconsin.

Here’s the latest on 17-year-old Calvin Valentine, from FOX6:

“The defendant stated that his friend gave him a key and he got in the white SUV that he crashed during the pursuit with West Allis. The defendant stated he was just ‘doing kid’s stuff,’” the complaint says. Valentine stated “he did not know what people would do with these cars. The defendant stated he did not know where he was going when he was driving. He claimed to have never stolen a car before,” the complaint says. Valentine then stated, “I’m not gonna lie, I stole the car.”

Valentine is now facing four criminal charges – including burglary and receiving stolen property, according to the New York Post. He remains at Waukesha Country Jail on $50,000 bond. So far, Valentine is the only suspect who has been caught. The eight others remain on the loose.

Some of the cars are also turning up, as well. By the middle of last week, six of the nine stolen vehicles were recovered – and four of them were in Chicago, the Post reports.

FOX6 spoke with the president of a local car dealer associated for his thoughts on the matter:

“You have to be unbelieveably vigilant when business closes, that you account for all keys and make sure they are all in a secure lock box,” said Jim Tolkan, president of the Auto Dealers Association of Mega Milwaukee (ADAMM). “I spoke to the dealership that was broken into, and they literally did everything that was feasibly possible.”

[…]

“Having on-site security after closing, whether it be every night, make sure all the keys are locked in lock boxes,” Tolkan said. “[The] cost involved is significantly less than what’s going to happen if you have seven, four, five, 10 vehicles stolen.”

These damn kids.