At $17,000, Would You Say G’day Mate To This 1984 Ford Falcon XE?

Today’s Nice Price or No Dice Falcon could make you feel like you’re on the track at Bathurst or, alternatively, on the road as Mad Max. Let’s see what this crazy ex-pat Aussie might just reasonably be worth.

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The seller of last Friday’s 1999 911 Carrera convertible claimed to be running out of parking spaces and, hence, needed to get rid of the car. They are probably looking forward to the day when they can channel their inner Jay-Z, saying, “I got 99 problems, but a Porsche ain’t one.” To put the 911 in someone else’s care, the seller asked $19,500, which seemed like a deal to the vast majority of you, earning the car a sensational 78 percent Nice Price win.

Porsches, in general, have pretty universal appeal. I mean, even Jeremy Clarkson, famously dismissive of the 911, has nothing but nice things to say about Porsche’s other big coupe, the 928. The Ford Motor Company has long sought to build that sort of appeal for its models and has had great success over the years with cars like the Model T, Mustang, and Cortina. I think it’s safe to say, however, that such universal appeal will not be found in this 460-swapped 1984 Ford Falcon XE.

Before we consider that opinion, though, a bit of context. Ford introduced the Falcon compact to the U.S. market in 1960 to fight a spate of smaller, more efficient foreign makes that had begun trickling into the American market in the 1950s. The Falcon proved successful enough that the company expanded its reach to Mercury, with the Comet, Canada with the rebadged Frontenac, South and Central America still as the Falcon, and, notably, to Australia, where Ford employed the Falcon name but moved the steering wheel to the right side.

Having been engineered for the smooth roads and extensive dealer service networks of the U.S., the first Aussie Falcon didn’t fare too well. It was criticized for having a weak suspension and for gearbox failures. A 1964 redesign addressed many of the issues, making the model more capable of handling the harsh driving conditions of Australian roads. Back in the U.S., the Falcon would trundle on for several years before morphing into the Torino in 1970. Its platform would continue on under the Maverick for almost a decade longer.

In Australia, though, the Falcon soldiered on over a number of decades and revisions until finally being replaced by the Mondeo in 2017. Over the years, racing versions of these cars battled at Bathurst while one iconic black coupe (well, a number of them, really) plied a post-apocalyptic wasteland in the Mad Max movies.

This ’84 saloon is an XE model, which puts it almost smack-dab in the center of the Falcon’s long production run. This is a private import, and while it may have originally come with a 5.8-liter Cleveland V8 under the bonnet, it now rocks a 460 CID big block. This is a version of the 385 V8 line, so named for the 3.85-inch stroke of the 460’s crank. Early engines were rated at around 390 horsepower (gross), with more to be had with modification.

According to the ad, the mill has 10K on the clock and is backed up by Ford’s heavy-duty C6 three-speed automatic mated to a positraction limited-slip rear end. It also has an aftermarket aluminum radiator and factory four-wheel disc brakes. The seller claims it to be a “fun Fast reliable driver.”

As far as looks go, the car is rough. The styling is pure ’80s Ford, emulating a larger format European Granada or slightly earlier American Fairmont. The green paint is spotty in places, and the car is missing some badging and trim. Aftermarket and, to be honest, fairly homely wheels underpin, and the whole thing looks to be covered in pine detritus from being parked in a forest.

The interior is also a bit beat up, although the basics are there, and a good tidying up would probably work wonders. As noted, these Aussie Falcons are right-hand drive and hence will take a bit of familiarization for U.S. drivers. Also, to get over the smell of Victoria Bitter that likely permeates the upholstery. A clean title and odo reading of 60K complete the picture.

OK, so this is an odd one. As I noted at the outset, this car is definitely not for everybody. Who exactly is it for, then? You’ve got me, but there’s an ass for every seat, and I fully expect that someone is reading this right now and whispering to themselves, “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie… Oy, Oy, Oy.” For that one individual to whom this car speaks, we now need to address the issue of its $17,000 (U.S.) price tag.