I Got Stuck In The Flight Cancellation Mess, And It Was Even More Annoying Than You Think

I fly a lot for work, and the more you fly, the more likely you are to get caught up in some sort of catastrophically terrible flight delay situation. So far I’ve been fairly lucky, but my luck ran out during my return trip on United from Pikes Peak on Monday thanks to some terrible weather and baffling airport decisions.

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We’ll start out in the beginning. My first flight was from Colorado Springs to Denver. It’s got to be up there with some of the more pointless flights in existence when you consider the fact that the drive is less than an hour and a half. But whatever, I didn’t book it (or pay for it). The first leg went off without a hitch, a 5:30 a.m. Uber to the airport notwithstanding. We even got to Denver early!

Things fell apart quickly. I was initially supposed to have a two-and-a-bit hour layover between flights, which quickly ballooned to nearly three-and-a-half hours. Why? Because there weren’t any flight attendants available. The five folks who were supposed to be on my flight were stuck somewhere else since their flight into Denver was canceled. It took some scrambling, but United was finally able to find five attendants in DEN, and we got on our way. I was in boarding group three out of five. Unfortunately, everyone else in the first two groups decided to take a carry-on. That meant I had to check my bag at the gate. It was annoying, but I had no way of knowing exactly how annoying it was going to be.

We left around 11 a.m. MDT, and at first our flight was fairly uneventful. Our Boeing 737-900 didn’t have in-seat entertainment for such a long flight, but whatever. Surely, the WiFi will work. Well, it did. Sort of. By that, I mean it would remain connected for a few minutes before dropping out. It took me nearly three hours to watch the first hour of “The Perfect Storm” on my iPhone. And then I gave up.

I got well acquainted with the terrain of West Virginia.Photo: Andy Kalmowitz / Jalopnik

After a while of looking out the window, I started to notice everything kept looking the same on the ground – which isn’t supposed to happen when you’re flying. I looked at the flight map and noticed we were making circles above West Virginia. That’s when our pilot, a lovely man named CJ, got on the horn and let us know we were in a holding pattern because Newark airport had shut down due to the storms rolling through. Fuck. We kept at this for about an hour when he got back on the speaker and let us know we were running out of fuel and we weren’t going to make it to Newark. Time to head to Philly, for some gas that we’d never end up needing.

Pointless gas.Photo: Andy Kalmowitz / Jalopnik

A half hour later we landed at PHL and taxied to the gate at 5:25 p.m. EST There was no way of knowing how long we would be stuck on the plane, but CJ got on the speaker and told us it was time to make a decision. We could either stay on the plane or get off, but if even one person got off, we all would have to. Unsurprisingly, with the information we had been given, we decided to stay onboard… for another two hours.

CJ’s Pizza!Photo: Andy Kalmowitz / Jalopnik

This is when CJ, my hero, decided to buy us all pizza, a nice gesture from a man who was exactly as stuck as the rest of us. Since this was a full flight, we all only got little slivers, but it’s the thought that counts. CJ bought all of the pizza he could find in PHL.

Eventually, we got another update from air traffic controllers: there would be no update for a while.

We all decided to get off the plane at that point and hang out in the airport. Our checked bags, unfortunately, couldn’t come with us. For the folks who didn’t check their bags, it was a simple decision: leave the airport and find another way home. After all, Newark and Philadelphia aren’t very far apart. I would have done this, but sadly my bag was onboard the plane. So, we wait.

Every half-hour or so, CJ gave us updates from Newark. They’re taking flights again, but there’s such a backlog that it’s still going to be some time before we can head out, plus there’s some nasty weather between the two cities. At this point, those of us who are left are just begging to get our bags back, but the flight hasn’t been canceled yet, so we can’t have them. The waiting continues until about 9:40 p.m. when everyone calls it. Even if we left right at that moment, CJ was out of work hours. He could no longer legally fly. A huge bummer. For all intents and purposes, the flight is canceled. We’re getting our bags!

More comfy than a 737.Photo: Andy Kalmowitz / Jalopnik

Except: Ubers are incredibly expensive and there are no rental cars available. United, for once, did right by us here, hiring coach buses to drive us up the NJ Turnpike to Newark. I almost cried. We got there around 12:15 a.m., and I was back in my apartment about an hour later, a changed man.

So, what did we learn? Well, if you put a random group of people in a shitty situation, the goodness in humanity will probably come out. Everyone on board my flight was lovely to each other and helpful, though it was far from an ideal day. It came out to about 18 hours of travel, but if I learned anything it was that some people are like CJ. Be like CJ.