Leave six cheesecakes, a dog and your teeth in a Uber? Somebody did

False teeth. A pack of condoms. Six cheesecakes. A toy poodle. A rat. And a Danny Devito Christmas ornament.

Sound like the contents of your man-cave? The stuff in the trunk of the Volvo? Grab-bag gifts for the upcoming July 4 barbeque?

Wrong on all counts. That’s a partial list released this week from Uber’s 2023 Lost & Found index. Reading it is sure to make an entertaining diversion while working on your everything bagel this morning.

Certainly, the most common items left by Uber passengers are the most obvious: clothing, phones, cameras, keys and wallets topped the list, which the rideshare company has published for the past seven years. But it’s the strange and bizarre goodies that add to the fun of discovery.

Here’s a partial accounting for forgotten things: a fog machine; a pound of fake blood; a small camping stove; Britney Spears perfume; a copy of Shakespeare’s “Taming of the Shrew”; a bidet(!); one Gucci loafer; and besides the poodle, some other animals including a rat (presumably a pet rat, if that’s not a contradiction in terms). And these two missing items were reported to Uber: “I left a slab of bluefin tuna for sushi on the floorboard of the back seat;” and, “my self-respect.”

Other bits and pieces reported by Uber last year include the fact that Toyota keys are the most frequently left behind, followed by Honda, BMW and Jeep. For branded items, Nike goods topped the charts then, followed by Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Samsung and Apple products.

Uber also charts the “most forgetful” cities in the U.S., topped this year by Jacksonville, Fla., a questionable honor. Also-rans include Miami, Houston, Atlanta, Palm Springs, and — but why? — St. Louis. Oddly enough, neither New York nor Los Angeles made the cut.