The Human Lap at Lightning Lap 2023

The Human Lap at Lightning Lap 2023

From the February/March 2023 issue of Car and Driver.

Lap Time: 25:44.0

Class: LLHUMAN | Base: Undisclosed salary | As-Tested: Priceless (mom’s est.)
Power and Weight:
1 hp (est.) • 160 lb • 160 lb/hp
Tires: Adidas Adizero Boston 10 with Continental Rubber Outsole; 10.5
Peak Speed:
10.9 mph
Average Speed: 9.5 mph

At 6:37 a.m., well before the sun rose to melt the frost and burn off the fog, I left the start/finish on my leg-powered lap. While I didn’t have to contend with overheating fluids or tire temperatures, I did have a mild hangover.

This year’s contestants produce an average of 424 horsepower, while I average less than 1 horsepower. The average speed of Lightning Lap participants this year is 83.8 mph; I, however, managed an average of 9.5 mph. At my speed and as-tested fitness, VIR’s elevation changes were more of a limiting factor than cornering grip, something that’s obvious from the data.

I spent most of Sector 1 squinting my way through the dark and hoping no ice had formed overnight for me to slip on. Even as I grew more confident in my footing, Sector 2 and Sector 3 proved considerably less enjoyable.

The 80-foot ascent up the Climbing Esses and the painfully gradual incline of the Back Straight resulted in a 6:30 mile time for my second mile of the 4.1-mile course. I quietly cursed editor-in-chief Tony Quiroga for asking me to do this, but the downhills at Bitch and Spiral gave my lungs some-much-needed respite. Climbing back out of the infield made me regret the last beer from the night before.

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Mercilessly, my last mile was my quickest, possibly thanks to nearly a half-mile of consecutive decline through Roller Coaster and Hog Pen. I don’t see myself competing with any LL5 cars next year, but with a little more sleep and no headache, I’m confident I can set a new LLHuman record.

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