How is primary and secondary determined?

My son is autistic and receives a ton of therapy. Previously we purchased my son his own BlueCross plan through the marketplace, even though he was eligible for cheaper insurance through my husband's large employer. We did this because his main therapy provider did not take my husbands insurance, which is Aetna. We have since switched therapy providers and they take Aetna, so for 2023 I added my son to the Aetna plan thinking we would save money.

It was a huge mistake because even though I verified that the therapy provider accepted Aetna and is in network, when they requested authorization for his ABA school services Aetna denied them because apparently they just don't cover this. My son absolutely needs these services. I am attempting to appeal but I am sure we will be denied.

I was able to enroll for my son in his old Blue Cross plan for 2023 through the marketplace. The coverage starts Feb 1st. I would like to be able to drop my son from the Aetna plan in February but I don't know if we will be allowed to do this by my husband's employer/Aetna. Assuming we can't, he will have two insurances. How is it determined which is primary and which is secondary? My son also gets home services and those are covered by Aetna. But if Aetna is primary I will have two deductibles going, Aetna with the home services and Blue Cross with the school services. If Blue Cross is primary they will cover everything and then even if we are stuck paying the Aetna premiums (which are cheap), at least we won't have to worry with two deductibles.

Please give me advice if you can I am so stressed out about this!

submitted by /u/iced_coffee_for_life
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