Spouse has HRA, can I have HSA?

My wife has waived medical insurance where she works – they give her funds in an HRA. This job started this year. Her open enrollment ended a few weeks before mine started.

I have been using an HDHP with an HSA. This is open enrollment time where I work (just started) – the enrollment wizard told me I cannot use an HSA since my wife has the HRA. I’ve read if the HRA is used for dental or optometry, it might be ok because it is limited. However, if it can do more – not allowed.

If so, I guess I need to not participate in the HDHP and not use an HSA? Just looking for some advice. I don’t want to to screw anything up with the IRS.

Also, want to understand how this works for the following year. I’m thinking we made a mistake with her elections. I can go to the non-HDHP plan this year to work around it so we are in compliance.

If it matters, we are married and have two children. I think she listed all of us as beneficiaries on her HRA. Her enrollment window is already over so she is locked in. I have a few weeks on mine.

Thanks in advance for any advice.