10 Steps to Approach Memory Concerns in Others
More than 6 million Americans today are living
with Alzheimer’s, including 410,000 here in New York State. But unfortunately, only half
of those individuals ever receive a diagnosis, which can delay needed care and
put individuals at risk as they continue living their lives unaware that they
are affected by a disease.
Close family members who know their loved ones best
are typically the first to notice memory issues or cognitive problems in an
individual, but they are often hesitant to say something—even when they know
something is wrong. According to a recent Alzheimer’s Association/Ad Council
omnibus survey:
● “Fewer than half of Americans surveyed (44
percent) say they would talk to a loved one right away about seeing a doctor if
they noticed signs of cognitive decline.
● Instead, those polled say they are
more likely to check in with other relatives (56%) and do research online (50
percent) when observing troubling signs.”
Beth Smith-Boivin, Executive Director of the Alzheimer’s
Association Northeastern New York Chapter, says, “While discussing
cognitive concerns with a family member can be challenging, it’s really
important. Having these conversations and seeing a doctor can help facilitate
early detection and diagnosis, offering individuals and families important
benefits including access to treatment and clinical trials. Some forms of
cognitive decline are treatable, so it’s important to get a medical
evaluation.”
Although it can be a tough conversation to
have, it’s important to discuss memory concerns in others because early
detection of Alzheimer’s and other dementias can provide that person a better
chance of being helped by treatment. To help individuals become more confident
and prepared to discuss their concerns with a loved one, we asked our friends with the Alzheimer’s Association
for 10 steps to approaching memory concerns. Continue reading to learn more.
1. What changes in memory, thinking, or
behavior do you see?
The first step you can take in approaching
memory concerns with a loved one is to make note of specific changes in this
person’s memory, thinking, and behavior that are unusual. What is the person
doing – or not doing – that is out of the ordinary and causing concern?
2. What other factors could be
contributing?
Various conditions can cause changes in
memory, thinking, and behavior. The next step is to consider any other
variables that could be contributing: what other stressors or health issues may be causing the changes?
3. Learn about the signs of Alzheimer’s
and other dementias
Research the early detection signs of Alzheimer’s and other dementias,
as well as the benefits of an early diagnosis. It’s important to understand the
specific signs to look for, as well as the treatment options.
4. Reach out to family members and friends
Has anyone else noticed any changes? Consult
other family members and friends to see if they have noticed anything
concerning. Sometimes a discussion with a mutual connection can shed light on
the seriousness of the situation and help you decide if action is necessary.
5. Determine who should have the
conversation to discuss concerns
Approaching memory concerns is a serious
topic, and one that should be brought up by someone the individual trusts.
Determine who would be best to have the conversation with the loved one. It could
be you, a trusted family member or friend, or a combination. In some instances,
it may be best to speak one-on-one so that the person doesn’t feel threatened
by a group, but use your best judgment to determine what will be most
comfortable for the individual.
6. Decide on the best time and place to
have the conversation
Once a conversation with your loved one has
been deemed necessary, it’s important to have the conversation as soon as
possible. To do this, you should first plan on a date and time, while considering
where the person will feel most comfortable.
7. Plan what you (or the person having the
conversation) will say
Determine what it is you will say to your
loved one before the conversation. If you are unsure how you can start this
conversation, try the following: “I’ve
noticed [change] in you, and I’m concerned. Have you noticed it? Are you
worried? How have you been feeling lately? You haven’t seemed like yourself. I
noticed you [specific example] and it worried me. Has anything else like that
happened?”
8. Offer to go with the person to the
doctor
During your conversation, ask the person if
they will see a doctor and show your support by offering to go to the
appointment. The sooner an individual with Alzheimer’s or other dementias
receives treatment, the better the chances of the treatment helping.
9. If needed, have multiple conversations
In the event your loved one is not receptive
to the concerns that were voiced about their memory, have multiple
conversations on the topic to try to convey the seriousness of the situation.
10. Reach out for help
Contact your doctor and the Alzheimer’s
Association for information and support.
Although a difficult conversation to have, the
benefits of sitting down and talking with a loved one about memory concerns can
be invaluable. Smith-Boivin added, “Another benefit from an early diagnosis is
it provides the person more time to plan for their future. You can be open with
your family about legal, financial, and end-of-life decisions, which can
provide peace of mind and reduce the burden on family members and prevent
disagreements about your wishes.” To learn more about how to facilitate these
difficult conversations, visit the “Hopeful Together” campaign website.
Cooler temperatures in fall and winter months
can present additional dangers outdoors. Click below to
learn tips to help avoid dementia-related wandering.
