Please help.
Hello to anyone that is willing to read this, it’s gonna be a long one and I am desperate for help. I’m going to give a long intro of explaining things because the background is very lengthy, but important to what I need help with.
My name is G and I am 24 years old. Please excuse any grammar, I was not blessed with the ability to write well.
I have two incredible mothers named Jodi and Marie who were romantically together for 18 years, separated now for 9 years, but the past 2 years Marie has had to take care of Jodi physically, emotionally and mentally and it’s been destroying Marie’s health in every way. Their relationship is very complicated but in simple terms, Marie was always the one caring for Jodi since day one. If you could honestly think of the most selfless, caring, empathetic and understanding person, that would be Marie. She is the type of person where EVERYONE comes first and she comes last on the list.
For advice with insurance purposes- They live in the Philadelphia area.
Jodi has been dealt a life that has not been easy. She has family, “friends” and a son, but they want nothing to do with her so the only people left in her life are me and Marie. S. A. WARNING Jodi was molested by her brother and father for years while growing up and because of this she now has diagnosed severe PTSD, untreatable depression, immense anxiety, multiple personality disorder, severe separation anxiety as well as abandonment issues. Jodi is an extremely difficult person to take care of and be around. She gets into manic states of mind where she believes no one loves her, Marie and I will leave her and that she deserves to not be alive anymore. When she gets into this state of mind, she reverts back to being 6 years old. So, when we have to explain things to her that we know she will not like to hear, she goes into that mindset so it’s very difficult for her to understand anything you are saying because she’s thinking like a 6 year old.
Marie is 65 with very bad back problems, is deaf in one ear, horrible balance as well as a sprained ankle that needs surgery- so safe to say she should not be taken care of someone. From the past two years her depression has grown into something I’ve never seen as well as anxiety that she’s never had before. Since she’s been taking care of Jodi 24/7, she has not been able to work and go anywhere beyond 30 mins just incase Jodi needs her. Because of this the only money they have is because Jodi is on disability and marie is on unemployment so they are BROKE. Marie is the kind of person that used to love life, seeing friends and family, but she has not been doing any of that all because she is someone’s 24/7 nurse.
Right before covid, Jodi fell in the tub, hit the back of her neck, but didn’t hurt it too bad so she went on with her routine. The NEXT day she woke up not being able to move any part of her body. A Doctor diagnosed her with Guillain-Barré syndrome which is a condition in which the immune system attacks the nerves. For two years she was working towards the goal of getting better with doing a bunch of OT and PT. The more time passed the more my parents wanted to get a second opinion because her progress was so micro that it didn’t make sense as to why she wasn’t becoming capable of doing the smallest things. They went to get a second opinion and here she was misdiagnosed! So, instead of GB she ended up getting diagnosed with cervical myopathy with an incomplete cervical spinal cord injury all from that fall she had in the tub with her neck. With this diagnosis it changed how Jodi could see her future going and destroyed her mindset. She will never have the chance to ever live by herself again and will need to be taken care of 24/7.
Present day, Jodi is now in a wonderful rehab that has everything she would need to get better, but remember, not well enough to get her to be independent. This place she can only stay at for 2-3 weeks (she has Medicare and Medicaid as insurance). She’s currently been there for a week and a half. Since this as happened, Marie sprained her ankle and now needs surgery, which means that Jodi does not have a home to go home to.
Marie has spoken briefly to the social worker about what the options are and apparently the ONLY option would be a nursing home (remember she has Medicare and medicaid for insurance). In the past, Jodi has gone to multiple rehab places as well as nursing homes (for other reasons). Jodi has had nothing but AWFUL experiences at these places because of the staff taking care of her. Yes she is a difficult person to take care of, but that doesn’t mean you give her anti-depressants and pain medicine hours late which makes Jodi go into a severe manic state. Today she told me that she would rather kill herself (and I know she means it because she’s tried to do it before) than go into a nursing home. I don’t know what to do. I feel so helpless because I have no money, my mental and physical state is very poor and Marie is deteriorating because of the amount of guilt and anxiety she has.
What can we do to get my mom the care she deserves and needs without having to be put somewhere where I know she will not be treated the correct way and will physically and mentally rot?
Thank you ❤️
